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Romance in Marriage

The 7 Secrets of Happily Ever After

2. The Need for Appreciation


You show appreciation by expressing gratitude for the many big and little things that your mate does. A woman needs to hear often from her husband, in kindly spoken words, that he appreciates the many things, both large and small, that she does for him and for their children. A man needs his wife to appreciate him for providing for the family, not only financially, but also in his other duties as husband and father. Expressions of appreciation produce feelings of gratitude in both the giver and the receiver. Feelings of gratitude promote satisfaction and happiness. Because of this, expressing appreciation is often the quickest and easiest way to increase happiness and satisfaction in a relationship.

Appreciate: to recognize the worth, quality, importance, or magnitude

Appreciation is critical to the health of any relationship in which people are expected to give service without formal payment. Many business relationships can survive without it—friendships and marriages cannot. A lack of appreciation from you leaves your mate feeling taken for granted, or un-appreciated. Such a feeling quickly kills romance. A married couple sharing responsibilities of home and family must continuously express appreciation to each other in order for their romance to survive and grow. Your mate needs your unambiguous spoken or written expressions of appreciation on a daily basis. Occasionally accompanying those words with a token gift is also important.

For Women:

Meet your husband’s need for appreciation.

Help your husband meet your need for appreciation.

For Men:

Meet your wife’s need for appreciation.

Help your wife meet your need for appreciation.

2 Responses to “2. The Need for Appreciation”

  1. Carlotta says:

    how do you respond to your companions way of making up when it is meant t o be sweet but it is incomplete?

    • Stan says:


      That’s a tough one. He’s part way to where you want him to be. Hopefully you can find a way to show your appreciation for his effort and encourage him to go further. You may need to try a mix of generous appreciation for what he has given along with an honest, positive discussion of what you expect. “I really appreciate how you…You are so ….and I can tell you love me…It would help me feel even closer to you if you also did this…”

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