RESPECT
__Do I treat her as I would want to be treated?
__Am I courteous?
__In my tone of voice, choice of words, and behavior, do I show her at least as much respect as I would a coworker, boss, or other important person?
__Do I interpret her words charitably when she says something that could be interpreted in either a positive or negative way?
__Do I use “smart talk” principles when we have a disagreement?
__Do I speak highly of her to others, and never belittle her?
__Do I avoid sharing private details of our relationship with others?
__Do I go only to her for my sensual and sexual desires?
__Do I involve her in important decisions, and always consider her feelings in decisions that affect her?
__Do I let her make her own decisions instead of trying to force my opinions on her?
APPRECIATION
__Do I express abundant and sincere gratitude for the many big and little things he does?
__Do I express gratitude verbally as well as in other ways?
COMPANIONSHIP
__Do I converse with her pleasantly for at least 30 minutes a day?
__Do I really listen to her, and refrain from interrupting and finding fault in what she says?
__Do I keep eye contact when she talks to me?
__Do I cheerfully share my feelings with her?
__Do I talk about things she is interested in?
__Do we do things together that she enjoys?
SPIRITUAL SOLIDARITY
__Do I take the time to be the father that my children need? Are my communications with them at least 80% positive?
__Do I refrain from undermining her spiritual goals or trying to lower her standards?
__Am I encouraging in her efforts to improve herself spiritually?
__Do we seek goodness and truth together?
__Do we pray together?
__Do I pray for her growth and happiness?
DOMESTIC SUPPORT
__Do I keep a budget together with her, and avoid overspending?
__Am I the breadwinner that she wants me to be?
__Do I do my share of the household chores, plus some?
TO FEEL CHERISHED
__Do I make her my highest priority, above work, friends, and other pursuits?
__Do I care tenderly for her, and try to help her feel safe and loved?
__Do I refrain from offending or insulting her?
__Do I focus on the good in her despite her flaws?
__Am I cheerful with her, and avoid holding love hostage?
__Do I rejoice with her in her successes?
__Do I show her that I need her?
__Do I give her plenty of personal attention?
__Do I surprise her with service and gifts to show her how much I value her?
__Do I try to accommodate her desires instead of insisting on my way?
__Do I admire her physical beauty with words and looks?
SENSUOUS AFFECTION
__Do I give her sensuous affection in ways that he can understand and appreciate?
__Do I practice good hygiene?
__Do I keep myself physically fit and attractive?
__Do I make special attempts to please her?
__Do I tell her often and sincerely that I love her?
__Do I generally smile at her when our eyes meet and when we talk?
__Do I frequently put my arm around her or hold her hand?
__Do I give her at least one good hug daily?
__Do I give her massages or foot rubs?
__Do I kiss her frequently?